Thursday, April 30, 2009

365 Days Ago...

We were driving the second leg of our move out to Arizona.

We had slept in the grossest motel in Van Horn, Tx. So gross that I made my children keep their shoes on at all time. Even in bed.

When we stopped for lunch, we thought we were going to be killed by an crazy drugged-out homeless guy in the Wendy's.

Luke had gotten carsick while we were driving through the hills of New Mexico and puked Disney Princess Fruities all over himself. I had to change him on the side of the 2 lane highway winding through said hills.

I had to call Alyshia in an absolute PANIC because I had gotten ahead of Jason, was about to run out of gas and there was nothing but desert and cactus as far as I could see.

We arrived in one piece at Martha and Gary's, and Romo promptly brushed up against a cactus and got a million and one needles in his belly.

But we had made. And we were there.

We were in for 6 months of laughter and tears, life and death, unbelievable heartbreak and pure joy. We couldn't have gotten there, been there and came back home without the support and prayers of so many people, to ALL of you I am eternally grateful.

As most of you know, we have had a very hard time since we got back. I thought it would be "business as usual", but our lives had changed so much going through what we did. Our priorities changed. Our view on life and death had changed. We grew up a lot and realized we were making a lot of mistakes. But, my God, how we have been struggling to get our bearings straight. We are completely worn out weighing every option, every choice we make. It can be so frustrating knowing that no matter how much you plan, life will have its way in the end.

So from here on out, we can just do what we can with what we have. And that means not flaking out on the trainer, keeping up with our FPU homework, cooking in instead of eating out, resisting going into Hobby Lobby, making time to watch House with Jas, calling my girlfriends instead of just texting them, having play dates with Nanna GG and really listening to her words of wisdom, staying positive and putting only good thoughts out into the universe, work on making our little family closer and our marriage stronger, educating ourselves on what's really going on in the world around us, and praying for wisdom and courage. We miss Gary everyday, but we now find ourselves asking, What would he do in this situation? What advice would he give? We use his wisdom and courage as a compass during this uncertain time.

So, here's to making the next 365 days "Pure".

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