Saturday, June 27, 2009
But as quickly as I give that common respect, it can be lost.
And as of late, I have lost a lot of respect for a lot of people. I can't understand their actions, because I don't treat people the way I have been treated my them. I sit and scratch my head, and wonder how in the world can they go through life acting the way they do and not think twice about it? Being rude. Being shady. Acting as though so many things are owed to them.
I have tried to turn the other cheek. Tried to understand where they might be coming from that would justify their actions. But all that that makes me do is get more and more angry. It just reminds me of why I am mad in the first place. It brings back the sting of what has been said. And worst of all, it makes me sit here and feel like an idiot.
How did I let this happen?
Why was I so trusting and easy-going, when I otherwise would have been very cautious?
Why, still after everything that has happened, have I not taken the action that I would have if it had been anyone else?
Why do I CARE SO MUCH what they think?????
Its too late at this point to do much more. And I hate that for that reason too, all I do is sit and be hurt and angry. I can't shake it. Because, it seems like any time I am this upset over a situation its because its been someone close to me that has caused the hurt. In this case, it was family (and I use that term in the loosest sense of the word). So, now, if I choose to distance myself from them- I am the crazy one. I am the one being overly sensitive. I am the one who should buck up and get over it, so I don't upset the balance of things.
I wish I could say I have given up on caring what anyone else thinks of me. That it doesn't matter- but this time it hit a little too close to home, literally. I couldn't sleep last night. Its the stress of moving, getting everything ready, shuffling between two cities with 3 children in tow. I am just worn out and worn down, so of course everything seems 15 million times worse than I know they really are. I sat there telling myself, "Get over it. Let it go. Forgive them. Pray for them because they obviously need help in the moral compass department."
Nothing. I woke up in such a foul mood.
And then, the funny thing is, as I checked my Facebook this morning, an old friend from high school had written this quote as her status:
"Satan's formula for self-worth being the sum of your performance plus the opinion of others." Robert S. McGee
It was just the message I needed. That was the bottom line of all of this. I felt insulted by the opinion of someone whose opinion really doesn't matter. AT ALL. I have since written that on a Post-It and it is stuck to my computer. I've read it about a million times and have felt a weight lifted off of me. I've been able to clear my mind. Focus on the blessings we have been given over the past few weeks that we wouldn't have had if these things hadn't happened: A beautiful new home, the out-pouring of support and love of our friends and family to help us make it happen. The joy of coming back to a place that is special to us in so many ways, and knowing that so many new memories will be formed there. That's what matters. What truly matters.
(Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig breath out.)
Thanks, Mr. McGee. I owe ya one.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Friday, June 19, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Saturday, June 13, 2009
I talked him into performing it tonight in front of the webcam. I know its a little slow starting, but I promise, the last 10 seconds are priceless, and totally worth the wait.
Jas and I are in talks about shopping around the idea for his own webshow. What a toot.
Friday, June 12, 2009
This is my FAVORITE! The "XY Chromosome" graphic. Please take a moment to take in the vibrant color palatte. Where else are you going to find purple with light brown? Pink with forest green?
"Pinecones on Acid"!! This was the wallpaper that was in our bathroom FLOOR TO CEILING- even in the window sills!- when we moved in! But I saw the potential! I knew she could be fixed! This wallpaper look came complete with HUGE navy glass ball knobs on the cabinets- we are talking golf ball size. Crazy town. Now, sadly... the kids bath wasn't as exciting. I guess because its the guest bath, and they didn't feel they had as much decorating freedom as the master!... But check out this festive paper. Kinda reminds me of Christmas wrapping paper. I will admit- done in a different color scheme, this could be fun. I could see myself decoupaging it to something...
Jas and I spent most of the day at the house painting. We got the flat pink of Olivia's tone-on-tone stripes done, the master bedroom (as high as we could reach without getting the ladder out) done, and I was able to put two coats on the kids bathroom cabinets. Now theres just the entry way, the hallways, the living room and the den/ office to do, the high peak of our master, our master bathroom cabinets.... Only. Sheesh.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
We ran up to the house tonight to drop off some lights and I just about jumped up and down at the glorious destruction!
So, I take this time now to say a fond farewell to the parts of our house that are hitting the road (in teeny-tiny pieces- whahahaha!!!)...
Good-bye low random beams that served no purpose other than what I can only assume was to display tons of 80's fake plants! Oh, how we just about hugged our contractor when he told us you could come down!! How I will miss shaking the popcorn ceiling bits out of my hair as I walked under you as I answered the door...Adios, pantry that was oddly located facing the door out to the garage! Your strong shelves held all of my art supplies with care for years....(Oooooooo, I cannot wait to have a REAL pantry with a real door next to my fridge- not three wacky cabinet doors with braces that blocked the usable space!!! But don't tell the old pantry that!)
Hyvästi, walls that we messed up the texture on when we removed the wall paper within 5 minutes of inhabiting the house! While you were pretty bad, the burgundy flower wallpaper was way, way worse...
Monday, June 8, 2009
Believe it or not- Jas blew this thing up in like 3 minutes. I wanted to pass out watching him.
Brought back memories of him blowing up this thing. Again, in like, 3 minutes. (Please note: This photo was taken after a tornado hit Olivia's room after a Christmas trip to AZ. We found her under a pile of stuffed animals and dress-up tutus. She was a little dazed, but okay overall.)
This pool was Morgan's first dip in water other than the tub. Lets just say, as cute as she looked, she did not enjoy herself. There was a lot of shivering, and crying. Then a little distraction. Then she would remember that she was shivering and would cry again. After she was in there for about 10 minutes, she was fine, but then she decided to try to crawl through the water and as soon as her hands touched the bottom, she TOTALLY freaked out. Frozen in fear almost. Okay, Times Up! I took her out, but O and Bubs played in there forever. I'll have to tape it, but you've got to see how psycho Mo goes when you turn on the house. Jas swears that all dogs do this, but its the most insane thing I have ever seen. Want to see my Amazing Discovery of the day? We celebrated Luke's birthday at Nanna GG's yesterday and she gave him the cutest set of puzzles- there are four of them, all in packaged in a precious lunchbox with funky illustrations of fire engines and steam shovels on either side. Adorable. Anyway... He saw them on the counter this morning, and wanted to get them out. I gave him one that looked like it had larger and fewer pieces. I didn't know if he could do it since he didn't have a picture of the puzzle itself to look at. Whoomp! Done. Then he wanted the other ones, but I told him I thought they were too hard and he needed to wait for me to
finish drinking my coffee so I could think clearly help him. He insisted that I get them out, so I gave him the remaining 3 bags and went to sit on the couch. I haf just finished my cup, when he said in that Luke-y way, "Maaah-m! See- those are naw-t too hard for meeeeeeeee!" Then he got up, asked for some Bunny Whop and was on his merry little way. I came back into the kitchen to make his BW and HOLY MOLY! He had done them all. By himself. I then said a quick prayer that this was a sign that he had great logic and deduction skills and that math would come so easy to him that he would NEVER have to ask me to help him with his math homework. Amen.