Not Moi!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week. Here goes....

I did not take Luke to school on Wednesday with a new big bruise on his forehead. I did not try to explain to the greeter that he had been sleep-walking and ran into the door frame. She did not totally give me the "Yea, right"-face and was not in talking to the director as I was leaving. I did not putt around Hobby Lobby for a few hours just in case C.P.S. would be at my door when I got back home.

When Jas tried to put Luke's Gap tennis shoes on him without socks, and got mad that they weren't going on easily, I did not tell him that since wearing tennis shoes without socks is kinda white-trash that Gap has rigged their shoes so they have to be worn with socks. He did not totally believe me,("Really?!?") for about 10 seconds.

I did not douse my daughter in Bath and Body Works spray right before she left to go to a birthday party because I lost track of time and she had been playing in the backyard 10 minutes before she had to walk out the door and smelled like "outside". I would never send my child out into the world in less than perfect condition.

I did not lay in bed yesterday, sick as a dog, and instead of using my "Jas-Is-Home-Time" wisely and slept, I did not watch 7 episodes of TiVoed Days Of Our Lives. ( I did not get so excited at the prospect of Stephanie and Phillip actually staying together!)

And the night before, I did not wake up in the middle of the night and forcefully kick what I thought was Romo, the dog, from under the covers with all my might because he was totally laying on my feet and I couldn't move. I did not all of a sudden hear an "Ow!" and a thud. It was absolutely, positively NOT my 2-year-old who had snuck upstairs and curled up at the foot of our bed landing on the floor.

I was not being too silly right before bed time (who would rev their kids up before bedtime?), and decided to use the number of books we were reading for a little counting lesson. I did not get a little carried away and drop a hard-covered book on Luke's face. I did not bust his precious little lip right open. It did not bleed like all get-out and now makes him look like we really do beat him. (I did not get secretly mad because he curled up in a ball when it happened and bled all over this sheets that I had just washed and put on his bed! Any good mother would care about their child's injury and not the laundry it created!!)