Tuesday, January 6, 2009

I'm Calling The CIA

Or the ministry of defense.


Or that loud guy that sells KaBoom on TV.

Because my children have a gift that if I could tap into, I might become the world's richest Mommy.

My two youngest children have an amazing ability to feel when I am trying to sneak around and try to get anything done and become instantly awake as though they have had 3 Red Bulls a piece. Lysh and I once discussed how amazing it was that we would go in to check on our precious sleeping babies by turning the doorknob at an un-humanly slow speed so that no two internal mechanisms would hit or click on each other, then drop and roll onto the floor, ninja-style, and CRAWL about 1 inch per minute so as not to make any noise by ruffling the carpet fibers and barely peek over the bumpers and SURPRISE! There our sleeping babies would be all wide-eyed and smiley- SOOOOOOOO excited to see that we had come to pay them a visit! Like they were saying, "What took you so long??? I've been waiting for you since about 10 minutes ago when I heard your thoughts from across the house!"

I am feeling so very overwhelmed these day. I can't get anything done, every time I turn around there are 15 more things to clean up and 2 more tushies to change. I am using every available second I have to work on the training workshops I have scheduled to start in 4 weeks. Morgan has decided she doesn't want Jason or I out of her sight, so she has become stuck to me, and its not the easiest thing in the world to type with a 5 month old stuck to your chest, froggy-leg kicking the keyboard every five seconds. I decided last night that I was going to make myself go to bed at 10, so I could get up at really early and sneak downstairs to pick up a little, fold some laundry, and try to finish typing some of the presentation stuff we need before anyone woke up.

Sure enough: As soon as I get up this morning at 6 am and slide across the carpet to sneak to the landing, Morgan- who usually sleeps in til about 7:30- starts laughing from her crib! She was SOUND ASLEEP two second prior! So I decided to take her downstairs with me, and feed her, hoping she would just sit and let me check emails or something! I put her in the bouncy seat next to me and as soon as I sit down and log onto yahoo- I look over and LUKE is standing in the entrance to the kitchen. His, too, usually sleeps til 7 or so AND his door was practically shut- on the other side of the house- but his scary "Lukie-Sense" alerted him to the fact that I was up and about to try to accomplish something uninterrupted! UNBELIEVABLE! Jas came downstairs around 6:15 to leave for work, took one look at me, and Morgan and Luke now sitting on the couch and just laughed and shook his head, " Hows that getting up early workin' for ya?" Ugh.

Now that I know this ESP-esque gift my- and possibly all children- possess lasts up into the toddler years, I must act quickly to find a way to bottle it! Think of what the government could do with this power! Catch spies, terrorists, ensure things like Water Gate didn't happen. I have such a visual of all of these little babies sitting in bouncy seats and Bumbo chairs like a command central alerting the military to upcoming moves of our enemies. Oh, if I were that smart... or that lucky...

I guess until then, I may as well stay in bed and try NOT to accomplish anything, so I don't set off their little sensors and they might possibly let me squeeze in a few more extra minutes of sleep.


Jilly Id said...

Oh, I love how you think and write! I can relate to a lot of what goes on at your home and have experienced some of the same things. The deal about turning a doorknob sooo slowly and trying to creep in cracked me up. I've done the exact same thing and can't believe it when I look up (from my belly crawl position) to see their little faces smiling like I'm the funniest thing they've ever seen.

Keep up the great blogging, I can see a book in your future. :)


Our life is a bowl of Barry's said...

Our kids are early risers too...so after 2 weeks of christmas vacation we finally got back in to the swing of things. Don't you know that the first morning that I got up early to get ready for the day, my 3 year old son, who ALWAYS wakes up before 7am, woke up at 7:20...go figure! And I know what you mean about the door handles and walking super quietly. We have laminate wood floors that make noise and I hate walking on them before the kids are up...they hear it and know someone is roaming the house (although it is a great tool for us so WE know when someone is up roaming the house!!). Guess you'll ahve to go to bed early again since you're tired from being up too early!

The Saras Family said...

yes yes yes! I feel you. whats up with that? Hudson will sleep until I wake and then pop those little peepers are rearing to go.
I don't know how you do it...i have one and get nothing done. One day I will understand...one day.

4Hoffman's said...

I completely understand too! Mine have always been early risers! Austin wakes in a GREAT mood! All smiley and happy! And what training/presentation are you doing? Anything fun?

Lucrecia said...

My 7 yr old has this - and it is fine tuned to the Wii. If I even consider pulling out Wii Fit for a few minutes of un-observed fumbling, I mean yoga, he is down the stairs in 2 seconds flat!

Mama Melissa said...

OMG. Hysterical! :) You need to work on some invisible skills... maybe then they wouldn't hear you. lol

mamma to DD Mia

Kasey said...

You are funny. I've learned that I can't plan too many things in a day b/c half of them don't get accomplished. I try to get my kids involved when cleaning is involved. Picking up toys, putting dishes away, Stella loves to sweep. Doesn't do a good job, but she's learning and it's cute to watch. Hang in there!!