Not Me Mondays

I haven't done this in awhile and I figured with the New Year and everything, I may as well start off by getting some things I DIDN'T DO off my chest...

I did not wake up the other morning and realize that if someone came upstairs in our house they might think Jas or I have a serious cocaine problem because there are not little piles of formula all over my nightstand or the bathroom counter. Because I never miss scooping out that fine white powder at 4 am- I have perfect half-asleep aim.

I did not actually agree with Jas when the made the following statement: "You know, I wish they had gone into a little more detail about the goat testicles." We were not watching a History Channel special on the Seven Deadly Sins and sloth. Because our lives are not that boring.

I did not drive through Starbucks 2 times in one day because I had 3 (three!) gift cards from Christmas burning a hole in my pocket(book). I did not claim one of those trips was for Luke who had a sore throat and could honestly not get relief if he didn't have a kid's Hot Apple Cider STAT! And, well, since we were there and everything....

I did not get all snug-up with Jas while going to bed, a say "Ooo, your so snugly" to hear him reply "Yea, only I'm way over here." I might have been wearing sock and sweatpants, but I was most definitely not spooning the dog.

I did not repeatedly forget to buckle Luke into his car seat because I do not allow him to pitch a fit about the joys of climbing from the passenger side of the backseat to his car seat behind me. Come on, how could I forget by the time I walk around the car and get in that this VERY important thing needs to be done? Not when he pops his head up next to me at a red light and tells me I forgot. He's two. Please.

I did not feel like a complete idiot when my six year old asked me the simple question of how checks work and I honestly had NO clue. I have not been a bank-account-using member of society since I was 18, and have no idea how the whole thing works. Routing number? Huh?

I did not secretly get excited at every nap time and bedtime when Luke begged me to play MarioKart on the Wii when he woke up. I did not act like this was going to be a HUUUGE burden for Mommy, but if he stayed in his bed and went to sleep I GUUESSS I could muster up the time to sit and play. One game did not turn into 12.