Sunday, January 4, 2009

Not Me Mondays

I haven't done this in awhile and I figured with the New Year and everything, I may as well start off by getting some things I DIDN'T DO off my chest...

I did not wake up the other morning and realize that if someone came upstairs in our house they might think Jas or I have a serious cocaine problem because there are not little piles of formula all over my nightstand or the bathroom counter. Because I never miss scooping out that fine white powder at 4 am- I have perfect half-asleep aim.

I did not actually agree with Jas when the made the following statement: "You know, I wish they had gone into a little more detail about the goat testicles." We were not watching a History Channel special on the Seven Deadly Sins and sloth. Because our lives are not that boring.

I did not drive through Starbucks 2 times in one day because I had 3 (three!) gift cards from Christmas burning a hole in my pocket(book). I did not claim one of those trips was for Luke who had a sore throat and could honestly not get relief if he didn't have a kid's Hot Apple Cider STAT! And, well, since we were there and everything....

I did not get all snug-up with Jas while going to bed, a say "Ooo, your so snugly" to hear him reply "Yea, only I'm way over here." I might have been wearing sock and sweatpants, but I was most definitely not spooning the dog.

I did not repeatedly forget to buckle Luke into his car seat because I do not allow him to pitch a fit about the joys of climbing from the passenger side of the backseat to his car seat behind me. Come on, how could I forget by the time I walk around the car and get in that this VERY important thing needs to be done? Not when he pops his head up next to me at a red light and tells me I forgot. He's two. Please.

I did not feel like a complete idiot when my six year old asked me the simple question of how checks work and I honestly had NO clue. I have not been a bank-account-using member of society since I was 18, and have no idea how the whole thing works. Routing number? Huh?

I did not secretly get excited at every nap time and bedtime when Luke begged me to play MarioKart on the Wii when he woke up. I did not act like this was going to be a HUUUGE burden for Mommy, but if he stayed in his bed and went to sleep I GUUESSS I could muster up the time to sit and play. One game did not turn into 12.


Kasey said...

You're funny. I like the the spooning with the dog.

4Hoffman's said...

Your posts are so FUN! Always gives me a smile!

The Saras Family said...

Um...i TOTALLY did NOT watch the Seven Deadly Sins and Sloth and feel very HORRIBLE about myself when I found out procrastination is considered 'sloth'. Because seriously...i do not procrastinate.

Anonymous said...

Look at you and all your new traffic!
I'm sorry I couldn't come clean your house- Toys for Tots dropped off 1000 items at the site and I told them I'd come help sort them to give them away to our associated groups.
Try me again, okay?
love, mom

Mama Melissa said...

Ohhh. you are too funny. Loving your blog. Especially the Starbucks comment. :)


Jenifer said...

Love this post! My 4 yr old will wait till we are nearly at our destination before calling out in a sing-song voice "Momma, you forgot to buckle me in!" I laughed so long at the spooning the dog one, everyone had to ask what I was reading!