Our Last Night Here...

Well. The day has finally come, and I am unbelievably sad believe it or not. So much has happened over these past 5 months and with every kind of emotion there is tied into it. Bottom line: Our leaving means that Gary is no longer here.

We came here to be with him and Martha during his last few months. Little did we know, we would only have 5 weeks with him once we arrived. And with all of the hard times we've had this past month, nothing will ever make me think that moving here wasn't the right thing to do. I know in my heart that he left us when he did because he knew we were here to take care of Martha, and he wouldn't go until he knew she was okay. From the day we arrived he got worse and worse- literally every day being harder and more awful than the one before. I cannot express what it was like to see that- to not know what kind of state he would be in the next day as we left their house each night. I know that everyday we were here though, especially with the kids around, we brought a little bit of joy to his nightmare of a life. I will always remember how he would wave at us and do a little clap when we walked in the door. How Luke would sit on the ottoman at his feet and just play for hours- just be close to him, and how he would just watch Luke. How he always gave us the Thumbs Up sign when we were having a conversation around him-whether or not he really knew what we were talking about is another thing- but he loved the social-ness of it, having people around him. Every time we left we would all hug and kiss him while he sat on his spot on the couch, and I alway told him how much I loved him: On the night he passed away he held my hand a second or two longer than usual and it made me stop and look in his eyes, and I think that was my good-bye from him. Everyone had their special moment with him that night, and little did we know what he was really saying to us. He had been through hell and was ready to go. And now its our turn to go. We have been through our own version of ALS hell, and it has changed us as a family. It has changed my relationship with Jason and with my kids. It has made us all realize that there is really nothing more important than family, that life is too short and illnesses are blind. Of all of the people in the world, I will never understand why Gary, but I will try my best to honor him by living the best life I can and continuing to take care of the many other people God has brought into my life for a reason. While my children may not remember him, they have been touched my his gentle, loving spirit, and I believe that even though he wasn't here when Morgan was born, she knows him. I see her laying in her crib or on our bed, smiling and coo-ing at the ceiling- I know he is over her saying, "Hey there, girl!" just like he always did to his "Miss O". She smiles like he does- with her whole face just lighting up.

So, yes, while we've had our ups and downs here, and we have made the decision to move on, this has been one of the most defining times in my life. God opened so many doors for us to get here as easily and quickly as we did, and now we will have to see what he has in store for us with his next chapter of our lives, having learned and experienced all that we have while we were here...

Bruised Ego

Poor , poor Jas! Yesterday afternoon he was up at the hospital and the doctors had asked him to leave the room for a few minutes while they talked to Martha. He went downstairs for awhile and then realized he had been gone longer than he had planned, so he started to rush upstairs. He said a couple was turning the corner the same time he was and he tried to side-step them and then SWOOSH! His legs flew out from under him and then SPLAT! He landed flat on his back right in front of the nurse's station! Of course, trying to make light of everything, he blurted out a quote from the movie Friday and said, "I want $50,000!" He said no one laughed at this little joke, but they ALL came running and helped him up and asked if he was okay about a million times. He quickly got back to Martha's room, but he said other nurses kept coming in and checking on HIM! Even the cardiologist looked over Martha, left and then came back in and said he heard Jas had fell and wanted to know if he was alright- thought maybe Jas has gotten lightheaded and passed out!!! To make him feel better, I told him maybe all the nurses thought he was handsome and wanted an excuse to fuss over him, or they were making sure he didn't turn thier post into the Jason Lee Yarbrough Wing of the hospital!!! To which he replied: "No, they are all probably out there waiting to tell anyone who didn't see me and then telling them to go in and see the dumb ass who flew through the air! (in a girly-voice:'Just go in there and pretend like your worried about him!')" ...Yea, that sounds more like it. HA! Poor guy has a bruised tush and an ego to match.

Prayers Please

Martha (my mother in law) is in the hospital and needing to have her gallbladder out (Just like Jas did back in February), but she is in such bad shape they are waiting until they feel like she can handle the stress of the surgery. Please say a little prayer for her that she gets better and the surgery goes well. As far as moving goes, I will still be leaving this upcoming Wednesday...I don't know if Jas will stay or come with us. In that case, applications for candidates who would like to fly in and drive the 1,100 miles with me and my precious kiddos (see above) will be taken on a first come, first serve basis. HA!

Seriously though: Prayers Please. For all of us.

Say whhhaat?!?!?

I have been noticing lately that we really say some of the WEIRDEST sentences throughout the day thanks to our children. Things that if they were overheard by some random person, they would think we were nuts...for example (and I give bonus points if you can figure out if Jas or I said it):

"Well look! There's a little chicken in your fast shoes!"
"No. More. DOTS!"
"My blue snail doesn't want to be yellow!"
"Where is there not "sexy dancing"?!?"
"That's not real Bob, that's Gay Bob"
"I'm going to smush your animals in the closet"
"You can't have a treat pock-a-wah, you had a purple one already"
"I put white whop in Nemo, no more Bunny Whop!"
" I can't find the guinea pigs, do you have the octopus?"

Seriously. Has it come to this? Sentences that make no sense to the outside world??? And Jason is the worst! He says some of the craziest, silliest things- and always at the most inappropriate times, of course. I know I talk about everyone else's shinanigans, but I would like to take a minute and love on my husband. I know you all think he's this shy, quiet guy but OH! how he has you fooled! He makes me laugh about 100 times a day- and not just by the things he say, but the things he does! Did you know:
He laughs hysterically at America's Funniest Home Videos?
He gets on the little stage in the Barnes and Noble kid section and tap dances?
He tries to be sexy and quotes the men from Days Of Our Lives in a silly husky voice?
He starts almost every story with "I thought I was on Candid Camera!"? (And honestly- the funniest, most random things ALWAYS happen to him!)
It never ends. And to top it off, when he's the one doing the laughing he sounds like the Count from Seasame Street, which is totally endearing. Thank goodness. I just love him... And my kids that make us say those insane things.

Home Again, Home Again!!!

Well: Its official! We are moving back to Texas! When?, you ask! NEXT WEEK!!!! Yea!!!

We found out this afternoon that we were able to get the house in Frisco that I had looked at when I was in town! The master plan is to rent this one, come May put our Carrollton house on the market and begin the search for our dream home. I NEVER WANT TO MOVE AGAIN! SERIOUSLY. Poor Miss O will be starting a new school again- Must be a record: 3 New School in Less Than 6 Months! Whoa! But she is such a trooper and makes friends like nobody's business, so I am not worried. Plus, we'll be back with all of her sweet old friends that she has been missing SO much! Play-date-a-rama! I am going to cram her social calendar so full she won't be able to sit down! She's earned it, sweet little thing! All I want is for her to get back to a normal life: her own room with her own things in her own house. Luke doesn't know any different. I hate though that he has just gotten adjusted to his sweet little preschool out here. Sure do love my Tuesdays and Thursdays!

Jason is interviewing at Castle Hill golf club- when he talked to the director of golf there he seemed really impressed with his resume and references- YEA!!! We all want to get back to business. Now, Lysh and I can get our little brain-child off the ground and get that show on the road, too: Making the world cuter, one kid's room at a time!! I. CAN'T. WAIT.

Being Held Accountable

I had one of those "Oh, Sweet Lord!" moments the other day. Luke was playing with the camera and accidently took a picture of me from behind and I almost fell over. I have to work out. I was given a clean bill of health last week, and was told it was okay for me to start exercising. Well. I woke up this morning and decided today was the day to start. I honestly have nothing else to do, so I have no excuse now. To make sure I keep it up, I will report on my progress. Lets hope that will keep my tush in gear...

I put MJ in the stroller (sweet Jason didn't make me take Luke) and we were off. It was actually very nice out at 7:30am, and I had tracked the main street we live off of, and from one to the other is a mile. I did one round back and forth, and consider 2 miles for the first day out to be an okay start. Gotta love Arizona though- ran into a bobcat along the way. Needless to say, it helped me pick up the pace... Nothing like being almost mauled by a wild animal to really get the heartrate up! HA!!

Please say a prayer to St. Joseph for us. We are in a housing predicament, and are just putting it in God's hands for now.

My Ostrich Child...

I think I may have told some of you this: But Luke is doing this weird thing and I don't know what to make of it!

He is a very naughty little boy. Period. But he's so stinkin' cute I have the HARDEST time getting on to him and seriously discipling him. I can't tell you how many times I have bit the insides of my cheeks til the bled so I wouldn't laugh at him while trying to get on to him about something. Now, to top it off , when I yell at him to, gee, I don't know: get out of Morgan's swing, stop marking the WHITE walls with BLACK sharpie, stop feeding the dog Play-Doh, stop shop-lifting at JoAnns...- He will stop and get very still and CLOSE HIS EYES!! I don't know if he thinks I can't see him being bad when he does this a.k.a. "I can't see you, you can't see me!" or if I have traumatized him and he's going to his "Happy Place" where he can away from his Nazi-tyrant mommy!?!?!? But I swear to you- I have to turn around and try not to shake with laughter, so he doesn't know I have lost it- ITS THE FUNNIEST THING YOU HAVE EVER SEEN! He's becomes this little Devil-Child Statue!!! And he'll stay that way for, like, a minute! Then he'll slooowly open his eyes to see if I'm still there. Unreal.

Monkey Business

Morgan and I finally got home Sunday night around 12:30 am- no joke! The airport was a nightmare: crazy women with their Pugs, GROUPS of people cutting in line in front of me, airline counter workers who would literally stop in mid-transaction to go take a break, planes that didn't work!!!!- Let me repeat: Nightmare! But in the end, I guess all that matters is we got home safely...I had missed Jas and Bubs and O soooooooo much! And let me say: Jas is Daddy Of The Year- he kept Luke on our Nazi Nap and Bedtime routine! And its really working!!!LOVE HIM!!

So last night we are driving home from dinner and we hear Luke in the back seat talking up a storm. He keeps saying something about Mommy and then it sounded like "Morgie", which is what we sometimes call Morgan, so I just figured he was talking to her since her carseat sits next to him...Well! He kept talking... and talking... and talking- until I really stopped and listened to him because there was a little to rhythm to what he was saying and guess what I discovered! He was singing "5 Little Monkeys Jumping On The Bed"! He must have learned it at school- and its A-DOR-A-BLE! See for yourself!

(You might notice/ hear a marble being dropped repeatedly. There is a vase on the floor in the garage full of marbles- I had never really seen it, but always noticed that Luke would have a marble in his hand when we got in the laundry room. I always wondered where they were coming from- and then the other day when I was sitting on a stool spray-painting I saw the vase! You'd have to be 2 feet tall to see it! So funny! They are like little treasures to him!!)

"Whooo Loves..."

When Olivia was a little older than Luke, she attended a Montessori school that was almost 30 minutes from our place in Lewisville. On the long way home we would always talk and I would use that time to quiz her about things she had learned: everything from counting in Spanish, to the A, B, Cs. One of her favorite things though was a game I affectionately called "Who Loves Who", where I would say, "Whoooo lovvves... Mommy?!" and she would yell "Olivia!", and then I would always ask her again, and she would name the person they were coupled up with ("Daddy!") So stinkin' cute.

Well. If I could play the "Who Loves Who" game with myself, I would have to say, "Annnne lovvvves... EVERYONE WHO CAME OVER TODAY!" I had the BEST, BEST time- I cannot tell you how tough the past week as has been, and I was already SO very homesick before all the madness... I needed to get the hell outta there and be surrounded by the people I love. It meant the world over to me that everyone took the time to stop by and say hi, and meet MJ. I am trying my best, best, best to get home asap, so we can hang out again. ALL THE TIME. I might become a stalker.Watch out. I am such a "friends"-kinda gal, and the past few months have been so.very. lonely....Speaking of friends...

I have to take a moment to GUSH GUSH on my dearest sweetest friend, Lysh. Let me publically announce that you are not only my fiercest tranny-ebaying loving-Gymbo junkie-thrifty-crafty-Greys-introducing-LoCal ranch loving-ChiHuaHua -laughing til we are crying-always on the same page- hot mess of a best friend, but someone who ALWAYS picks up the phone when I REALLY need them to. I think it must be a gift. Thank you for getting off your ladder and throwing me a lovely party today- I know how hard you worked on everything (even the parts people didn't see- HA!) Word can't tell you how much you mean to me, and I thank God every day that he brought us back together after all those year. He knew what he was doing. And I owe him one. Big Time.

CHECK OUT THE PARTY GIRL... Already "a lit-tle tooo craz-ea"!

HOME AGAIN, HOME AGAIN...

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I am back in Dallas and it seems like we never left! Love, love how it feels like Fall is coming, and its getting to be my favorite time of year here! When I left Phoenix it was 106 degrees- ENOUGH! The flight here was so easy- Morgan slept the whole time, and she and I ran over to sweet Auntie Heather's house and got to visit. We came back and had dinner at Mom and Dad's and it was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO great to visit with everyone over Mom's famous tacos!

Dad and I are off tomorrow to HOUSE HUNT! Please say a prayer to the realtor god's that I find something and they left us lease for 6 or 9 months...PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!!!

Retail Therapy

Things are looking up. I spent the day throwing out ideas (thanks girls for your input!) and in the late afternoon decided I needed to get out of the house and spend some time alone and a little moo-la along the way. I took the LOONNGGEESSTT route ever to the Target up the street, and then the LOONNGGEESSTT route back down the road to the Old Navy. It was just me and Morgan and MY music. Nothing like some good tunes to make you feel better, and no one like Fiona Apple to make you feel like your life could be ALOT worse-ha! I bought some hair color, nail polish, new undies and mascara- four things that can't help but make you feel like new person... Old Navy was having a dress sale, and since that's all I wear out here, I was in discount heaven! Got a cute one to wear to the Sip N' See on Saturday, and treated myself to new flip flop sandals, too (To help me get through security at the airport faster, of course!) So! I feel a little better at least. Got to clear my head for a bit. Think about being a single mom for a little while. Trying to balance everything for everyone. I have asked for a sign. I'll keep you posted.

"If there was a better way to go than it would find me,
I can't help it the road just rolls out behind me.
Be kind to me, or treatin' me mean.
I'll make the most of it-
I'm an extraordinary machine." - Fiona Apple