Thursday, October 30, 2008

We're old...





'Took these pictures the other day when Jas was outside helping O ride her bike after she had asked him to take off her training wheels. Once I had them uploaded on the computer and could really view them, I had one of those "We are parents. We are old. We are really grown-ups."- moments. He just looked SO much like "a dad". I know we have been parents for over 6 and a half years, but it really hasn't been til recently that I have started to feel like I'm not 20 anymore. How weird is that? Growing up you have such a vision of what "Grown Ups" look like, act like, and I don't really feel like I've fit into my vision: I love to watch the Hills and Gossip Girl. I check my Myspace everyday (sometimes more than once). I just went to the So You Think You Can Dance AND the America's Best Dance Crew tour shows. I would much rather listen to Cee-Lo than Laurie Berkner in my car. I don't feel old.

And then I do. I have three kids. I have a mortgage. I have to check homework and make sure lunches are made before I head for bed at night. I worry about getting good health insurance and saving for the kids college funds. And I watch my high school sweetheart, who I can still remember as quite the little punk kid, holding up our daughter by the back of her jacket while she learns to ride her bike, so he won't let her fall, like a grown-up dad. And I know getting older means lots of loss- loss of old childhood friendships, death of loved ones, even the loss of that freedom we had when we could come and go and do as we pleased... But at this stage of life, I wouldn't trade any of those things we've lost for the wonderful thing we've gained: New friendships, beautiful children and the great responsibility of raising them to be good people. And I've realized that as we've grown up, so will they- and our job is to do what we can to hold them up, and help brush them off when they do fall. Its a great grown-up job, so its not so bad being "old"..... ('Still won't drive a mini-van though. Wink.)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hey, I love your photos..they are really nice...