Thursday, February 12, 2009

I Was Not Rockin' A Blue Apron

Okay. So I took Miss O to the doctors last night(thank God for late hours on Thursdays) and it turns out she has Strep throat. Her doctors reminds me that I can get Amoxicilian at Wal-Mart for a lovely $4, so we stop by there on our way home.

We go, drop off the prescription, and the guy tells up it will be about 20 minutes.

Oh, the random things you can put in your cart at Wal-Mart in 20 minutes.
So we bought face wash. And cough drops. And Children's Tylenol. And 2 new pink pillow cases for O. And 100 calorie packs of Twinkies (who knew!?!?). And hamburger buns. And gum. We listened to the relaxing ocean waves CD sampler they play by the candle aisle. We tried on funny rainbow striped reading glasses. And then we head over to the card aisle so I can pick one up for my beloved for Valentine's Day. I am turning to go down the aisle, when his frazzled man stops me by grabbing the end of my cart and says, " I am so sorry, but I need your help." (Okay, freaking out justalittle, but...) He proceeds to tell me that his daughter just called and he must bring home a box of Valentines for her to take to school tomorrow and he needs me to tell him what she is talking about. I guess he had been walking up and down the greeting card aisle, stressing out because they were nowhere to be found.

So, always wanting to show Miss O how to be cheerful and helpful to others, I told the guy to follow me, and I brought him to the HUGE ASS (oops, sorry! See, I'm trying!) row of overflowing boxes of Valentines located at the VERY front of the store RIGHT where you walk in. And then get this: He says, "Thanks! I work here and I didn't even know where these were!" Okay, even Miss O made a comment about that one: " Why didn't he find one of his Wal-mart workers and ask them?" Good question, girl. I soon found out it was because I was wearing a blue Wal-Mart employee apron that was invisible to me, but shining like a beacon in the night to everyone else at the store that evening.

So we go back and are standing in the not even worth $4 medication its so long line at the pharmacy right next to the vast array of Tylenol products. A women walks up to me and asks, "Where is the Tylenol PM?", she doesn't even attempt to look herself, she asks me! But like a big dork, I'm all like, "Well, lets see here...." and proceed to case the whole shelf of Tylenol until I found it for her. (Its on the top row in the middle, if you need some next time you're there). Miss O gives me this precious What-In-The-World face when that lady walked away and starts cracking up. I'm glad someone finds this amusing.

And theeeeeeen, we have moved up in line, its almost our turn and I am not kidding you! A women comes up to me with a coupon in hand for HANDI-WIPES and asks me where can she find them in the store. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? That's when I had a Jas moment, and really thought I was on candid camera. I looked around for a second, but, again, dork that I am, I tell her they could be located on the toilet paper aisle near the Kleenex, I believed. (Still not sure if that's right, but it was an educated guess...Don't think I won't go look the next time I'm there!)

Its been a long evening, 20 minutes of waiting has turned into an hour, Jas is texting me that the hamburgers he started cooking while we were there are now stone cold, I'm sad Miss O has to miss another Valentine's party, and I just want to GET HOME. I turn to Miss O and say all huffy, "Seriously, why is everyone asking me about stuff tonight?" and you know her answer that makes me feel about 2 inches tall for being so put out about it: "Because you just look so nice, Mommy."

She kills me.


Machiavelli's Daughter said...

SEE? Best mother EVER to have raised perfect little lady like that! Even with strep throat she was charming!
Happy Valentine's Day!

Anonymous said...

The kid the teacher sat the ADHD student next to to take advantage of your good habits and persuasiveness
President of the drill team
The only reason some parents stayed at the facility we can't disclose
Yep, you're pretty nice.
And people just sense that.
I'm glad it's a trait you passed on to O.