One Week To A Better Home:"Letting Go Of Memory Junk"

It seems like recently, I have been asked by a lot of girlfriends (I am counting sweet Cari as a friend, even though we have never met) for organizing advice. Maybe since the kids are out of the house it seems like time to get things back in order... But, its super flattering. I LOVE to be organized. I love a nice uncluttered surface. I love a drawer filled with plastic organizers. So am going to devote this week to helping anyone who wants it with getting a little more organized around their house. And to prove that I am in NO WAY an truly organized perfect person, with hesitation, I show you this: (But please note: Theses are all boxes filled with items we are selling in a garage sale. Imagine if THIS MUCH extra crap was in still in my house?? Exactly.)Take a deep breath. Here we go!

LETTING GO OF MEMORY JUNK
Warning: Tough Love Ahead

In Lysh and I's discussion of "Personal Hells" (these are things we talk about after a few glasses of wine), I have said that mine would be wading through a messy house that smells like cooked Parmesan cheese while trying to finds things that are lost in all of the junk. Nightmare. (Hers is ironing pleated skirts in a fish market- which cracks me up every time I think about it!)

So to make sure I don't have to live out this scenario, I can clean up a mess in about 1 minute because everything in our house has a "Home" (More on that later). I NEVER, EVER top any cooking food with nasty Parmesan cheese and I maintain my organization systems so that I know where things are at any given time. Easy enough, right?

Not if your house is filled to the brim with stuff, and I can almost guarantee that that stuff is homeless. The only way you are ever going to be truly organized is to let things G.O. GO. Clothes, chachkies, toys, movies, books- you name it, you probably have WAY too much of it and its overflowing into your sanity. The only way to solve this dilemma is to Purge Your Heart Out.

I have been blessed with the gift of The Purge and I have been cursed at the same time. (If you ever get the chance you might want to ask Jas about the time I threw away his entire CD collection, or his speeding ticket or his new box of expensive heartburn medicine during one of my clean sweeps.... He'll be more than happy to tell you about it!)

THE HONOR SYSTEM

I think one of the reason I am able to maintain a decluttered home is that I do not have to hold on to things to hold on to the memory. Memory Junk will fill your home faster than anything, because everyday you are making memories, and the size of your home is not increasing along with them. Sure, I have tons of photographs and the letters Jas used to send me. I kept my drill team boots and hat. I have the little red patent leather shoes that Olivia wore for her first Christmas. Of course I believe its okay to keep things- IF and only IF you honor them.

I know you are sitting there thinking, "But everything I have kept is so special to me that I could never get rid of it!" If something has been crammed in the back of a drawer, crumpled up, or is missing parts- Its not special to you. Something is not cherished and priceless when it is sitting on a shelf next to your phone books and old Pottery Barn catalogs. If there are things that are truly, truly special to you, then honor them. Put them in a special place, devoted just for those items. It doesn't have to be fancy: Pictures should be framed, stored in albums or photo boxes. Collections should be displayed together as a group on a shelf or a cabinet devoted to just those items. If you choose to keep something, you must also choose how to honor it. "Treasures" should be in a treasure box.

When it comes to letting things go (throwing it away if its broken or donating it if you really no longer use it or like it): You will never get through one drawer or one closet if you keep thinking that the things are memories. THEY ARE NOT. The 2 sizes too big, outdated sweater that your Great Aunt Edna gave you the Christmas before she died- IS NOT your Great Aunt Edna. The tattered pot-holder that your youngest child made during her first stay at Sleep-Away camp is IS NOT your youngest child. You will not be hurting their feelings if you let these things go, because they love you and want you to be happy. Its that simple. They would not want you to be stressed-out, overwhelmed because of something they gave you. We get so wrapped up in the idea that lettings things go will hurt the person who gave them to us, and it is actually the opposite. How to you think Aunt Edna would feel if she came down from heaven and saw her sweater wadded up in the back of a closet?? Exactly.

Now, as moms we have a tendency to keep EVERYTHING our children have written or drawn. Because I am cold and evil, I will be making you throw some of these things away. Here are my Kid's Work Rules:

• If they are under 3 and there is MAJOR teacher assistance in the project- Let it go.


• If there are hand prints or foot prints- Keep it.


• Try to keep a few written pieces from when they are around 4 and just beginning to really write their name legibly.


• Keep anything that has their "When I Grow Up..." hopes and dreams on it.


• Keep three or four drawings or art pieces from ages 3 and up. Their skills and style will not change that much throughout each of those years that you really need to keep more than that.


• Worksheets: Let them go. (Unless they have written something hilarious on it, or shows their early hand-writing.)

• Old Christmas and Birthday cards to your child- Let them go. (Unless it has a personal, handwritten message inside, that you feel will be meaningful to your child one day.)


• And of course, keep anything that truly makes you smile. Jas' mom has saved this HILARIOUS little story he wrote about snakes that is the funniest, sweetest thing I have ever seen. And for some reason I think this little guy O made in Montessori school just has the funniest little stinker-pot face. So I kept him.

Now that you have your "Chosen Ones"- where do they go? This is what works for me: I have a large plastic bin for each of my kids that I keep on the top shelf of their closet. In each of these bins is a smaller box, their baby books, and a manilla file folder for each school they have been to. (TOTAL COST: about $10.00)

• All of the art work you have chosen should go in the manila file folders. If something is too large to be folded and still fit, then you can put it in the large box. You need to write a date or a note on the back of the art work. I hope to have a nice bound book made for Olivia when she graduates from HS of all of the cute things she has written. For that reason, I keep a separate folder for her written material.
• Any small, handmade items (a special Mother's Day pin made of dough, a sparkly painted rock they made just for you, etc.) should go in the small box. You can also store cards, jewelry, coins, baby hats, etc... in here. Think of it as a "Treasure Box".


• School shirts, jerseys or hats, even a favorite costumes can be stored in the large part of the tub.


• As your child brings home school work, art and projects and you find something you think you cannot part with, it goes in the "NEED TO SORT" manila folder (or if you are like me and sometimes get lazy, just jump and chunk it in the box). This is your Memory Box Holding Center. It give you time to come back at the end of the school year, or on their birthday, whenever! and go through theses items and choose what you would really like to keep and then they go... that's right: In that school year's folder. Chunk the rest.


• If you like to display their work, chose one or two pieces every couple of weeks and then toss 'em or put them in the Holding Center once a month. Instead of putting them on the fridge, focus on the kid's hallway: You can string up a cute clothes line with simple painted clothes pins, create a huge framed bulletin board in the hallway (my next project), or use Ticky-Tack and put them on each child's bedroom door.

My storage system is the Poor Man's version. You can accomplish the same thing, only nicer with a real hope chest, a wooden box that latches and a beautiful album. Anyway you do it, just do it.

As far as letters, photos, event programs, ticket stubs go for us adults, you can pretty much follow the same plan. I have a large, hard-covered, spiral bound album that I use for things that Jas and I have done together. The pages are black and I use a silver gel pen for make notes about what goes in there. Simple and classic. I just rubber cement the item in, make a note of where we went and why, the date and a quick fun memory. Ta-Da! Perfect.

Any other treasures go in a Treasure Box (just a nice decorated box from the HL). I am currently storing all of the photos we own that are not actually saved on the computer in photo boxes. I don't like them, but they are a nice Holding Center until I can invest in a large collection of photo albums with sleeves. There are a lot of them, so I have devoted the top drawer of our entry table to photos- and ONLY photos! Nothing else goes in there. At all. So when it comes time to get those photos to their proper place, that is the only thing I will be dealing with.

And even though it is not my ideal storage system, if you asked me to find a picture of me and Fan Target triumph-ing at the Arc De Triomphe from the Summer of 2000. I could find it in 2.2 seconds. See:

Because all the photos in the box are sorted and every envelope in that box is labeled. It takes time, but it is totally worth it.

Here are my Photo Rules:

• If you can't remember where it was taken or why- Toss it.


• If you hate how you look- Toss it.


• If you have doubles- Toss one. If you haven't given it away or used it for something when you first had them developed, then you aren't going to.


• Put all school photos in a large envelope with your child's name on it with the date or grade and out them in their bins.

TODAY'S LESSON:
1) Realize that things ARE NOT memories.
2) Be honest with yourself about what is really special to you: Make a commitment to honor those things.
3) Create a storage system for the items you want to keep.
4) Don't keep something out of fear of hurting someone's feelings.

YOUR HOMEWORK: Gather all of your kids art and treasures. Sort, purge and organize- Even if it means paper clipping them together and putting a Post-It note with their name on it. Decide on your method to store and organize them from now on. Make a list of what you need to buy the next time you are at the 'Mart to make it happen and then Git 'Er Done.

TOMORROW: Kids' Toys

Kitty Kat

So I have been sitting here, checking email, working on Jas' work stuff and Luke keeps coming up to me to, saying, "Mom! Can I pleeeeeeeeease have a kitty cat!??" And I keep telling him no.

He says, " I really, really want one! I love them!"
I reply, "Well, Daddy hates them, so NO!"
He give me a weird look.
He says, "But my body says 'I NEED A KITTY KAT'!"
I reply (eye-brows raised), "Your BODY needs a cat? You are you kidding me right now??"
He says, "NO. I. WANT. A. KITTY. KAT."
So now I think he's just being a toot, so I send him away.
He's gone for 2.2 seconds before returning and saying this this crazy, deep voice:
"I need a kitty kat in my TUM-MEEEE. Just like YoGabbaGabba! Just like Olivia!!! GIVEMEOOOOOOONE!" (He's also doing some very dramatic arm flaling at this point...)
What the hell??!?

A cat in his tummy?
Like Olivia?
Could this have anything to do with him slipping and hitting his head on the shower floor last night????
And then I get it.
He wants a Kit Kat, which was what O had for a treat when she had gotten home from school. What a wacko-job.
God bless him though, I had to give him one after all that.
It totally reminded me of this incident.
(I am also looking up child-actor agents. This kid could win an Oscar for Dramatic Interpretation!)

Power Of Prayer

I am an avid reader of Nesting Place. I wish Nester lived closer so we could go and putt around Hobby Lobby together sometime. Seriously. Love her and her whole family! (I even stumbled across her dad's blog one night and stayed up til 2 in the morning reading it.) So when I read this post, I cracked up and then clicked the link to see what was going on. Whoa, Nelly. Big stuff.

I think this is such a great idea. I found a prayer request that I could really relate to and took a moment to pray for this woman, and then asked for a little prayer for myself. I've been having a tough time of late with the kids- I've felt like my patience level was on low and that the values I really want my children to hold high were under attack. But to wage a strong enough war against the "norm" meant being on their cases so much that it was wearing us all down. There came a point where I wanted to throw up my hands and give up: Be spoiled. Be sassy and disrespectful. Don't care about anything by material "stuff". Bubs was being nuts, and not just asserting his 3-yr. old Independence- nuts, but hitting, kicking, throwing fits like we've never seen. I felt like some serious changes needed to happen in our family fast and wasn't sure what step I should take first.

So I simply requested a prayer for patience when it came to my kids and wisdom when it came to making the right parenting decisions. I just needed a little peace to help me clear my mind and regroup. And over the next few days certain things came to my attention: I noticed a lot of behavior pattern, I took note of how our days were really spent. Then certain articles in magazines would really speak to me and about our life, or I would somehow link up to some woman's blog who felt the same way I did (Love this one)...And believe it or not, I started to feel a plan forming, new ideas coming into light, so I just went with it. This is what happened:

I made a schedule. Seriously. I wrote down everything that needed to be done each day of each week and then systematically figured out how to get it all done in a way that fit into everyone else's daily routine. My goal was to have much more time to spend with Bubs and M during the day, and with Miss O when she came home from school. I wanted to be sure that if I was mopping the floors, at least one kid was napping, and the other was settled and playing, so that they wouldn't need me for that 15 or 20 minutes and I can knock it out uninterrupted. Getting it all down on paper where I could see it made a huge difference- I used to spend ALL day Sunday doing laundry and ALL day Monday and Saturday seriously cleaning the house- where now I take about 15 minutes out of every hour to do something, whether its fold laundry or sweep the kitchen- keeping things moving so it won't get backed up. I got a grip on what had to be done, channeled Tim Gunn and "made it work." (I am also seriously Type A and I LOVE lists. Love them, so this wasn't so hard for me.)

As advised by Bub's doctor, due to his issues with over-stimulation, we rounded up any and all toys that make noise and have flashing lights and politely asked them to find a new home. (This also started to solve my overwhelming feeling about how much "stuff" my kids have.) We turned the TV off WAY more- especially in the mornings and began to spend alot more time outdoors. We go on walks while Bubs rides his bike, we play "battabattabaseball" as he calls it, and of course, bust out the water balloons. We have also re-introduced ourselves to the Play-Doh, the AquaDoodle Mat and our big tub of crayons. They are calm, quiet and don't require batteries: Just what the doctor ordered. (Finding the right balance of being active mixed with calm activities he can immerse himself in has been tricky, but it has pretty much solved his pent-up energy= crappy behavior issues.)

We made the decision that there should be no more toys purchased unless its Christmas or the kids' birthdays. It has just gotten so out of control that nothing was special to them anymore. They weren't taking care of the things they had because they knew something new would be just around the corner, and especially with O, it became all about more, more more. One more Pet Shop. One more Webkinz. But when it came time to ask her to clean her room, she would cry and break down because she was so overwhelmed with the amount of "stuff" she had to deal with. It was too much her for her. And me. I was also getting disturbed by the fact that all she talked about on these online villages was getting more and more money so she could buy more and more "stuff" for her pets. It all seemed really shallow, and not the way I want my child spending these carefree years. (But, oh! The first time I had to tell her 'no' when she asked me to buy one little measly toy at the check-out was SO hard for me. But it had become a habit for her to ask, and a worse habit for me to always indulge. It was hard on both of us.) Something really changed in me to make me realize that we spent way too much time and energy in search of things, rather than enjoying time with each other and I had to be the one to say "Enough." I realized that I had been a really bad example to my kids, and have put myself on a spending freeze. We have so many great things going on in our lives right now, but every penny counts at this point and I have to hold myself accountable too.

Neither Bubs nor M are attending MDO this year, so I made the decision to teach him myself. I have set up morning lessons that we do while M has her first nap. I can't tell you a) how much fun we have b) have great it is to watch him grasp these new concepts and c) how special it is to see our relationship change so quickly. I have slowed down and given him my undivided attention as much as I can, and both he and I have calmed down alot and just feel a new sense of peace in our house. He's really so smart and funny and we all have really been enjoying him so much more.

I have also made a MUCH earlier bedtime for everyone. I know my kids and I know that they all start to loose it around 5:30pm. It just made more sense for me to be proactive and have dinner on the table at 6:00, so everyone can be fed, bathed and in bed by 7:00pm. Dinner is so much more enjoyable, story time (which is a HUGE deal in our house) is not rushed because we have plenty of time to relax and enjoy when its not 8:30 and I am rushing everyone off to bed because they have been nightmares for the past 3 hours. They have all been sleeping better, getting up in better moods and, not to be all Von Trapp-family, but it just goes to show that sometimes structure can be really good.

I feel like we had a "life detox", if you will. We've taken the past week to kind of clear our heads and really focus on what we want for our family. So I think my prayer was answered. I feel more patient, I feel like the tools I needed to start changing were revealed to me. And I think the biggest thing is the peace I feel for having made these "different" decisions for my family and not feeling the need to apologize for them. I think getting "older" (30! Gasp!, I know, don't roll your eyes) has made me realize that we really do have the power to make our own ground-rules for our own family, and not look for the rest of the world to validate what we are doing. I just keep hearing Dave Ramsey and his "Live like no one else, so later, you can live like no one else." I think that holds true for us now (and not just economically): If we unwaveringly take the time to educate and raise our children to be kind, patient and honorable people, than we can relax and enjoy them so much more as they grow up.

What do you need a prayer for?

Good Rule

We were on the way to play at the indoor playground at the mall, and I was going over a few ground rules with Bubs. He was SUPER excited to go, and I just didn't want his little boy-activeness to get the best of him. I told him that there were little babies like Morgan that play there too and that he needed to be careful.
"Please be careful not to step on the babies, okay?"
"Okay, Mommy."
"Please be careful not to knock down the babies, okay?"
"Okay, Mommy."
Then he was quiet for a minute and said in a very Mommy-like tone, "And you be careful not to drive over the babies, okay, Mommy? We don't want to drive over the babies."

Good call, Bubs. Thanks for the tip.
(Is it possible that he knows I am the worst driver ever????)

I'll Eat You Up! I Love You So!

Okay, so I can't sleep. 'Haven't been able to fall asleep before 1am in weeks. I think my poor body has gotten used to it now, so its not so bad- Thank God for good, strong coffee.

So what's a girl to do, laying in bed, wishing and praying that she could fall asleep, counting down the hours until she has to get back up??? Watch TV on Demand of course!And do you know that Time Warner cable has MOVIE TRAILERS you can watch? Movie trailers are one of my most favorite things about going to the movies (next to Jr. Mints mixed in popcorn) Seriously- if there are crummy trailers I feel a little jipped.

Anyway! So here I am, watching trailer, after trailer - they are in alphabetical order- when I come to this! I think- "No way! Am I reading this right??" But, yes! Lo and behold- LOOK !!! I am freaking out with excitement! I can recite this book without looking, our copy is tattered from being read at least once a week for the past 7 years to one child or another. I even had this picture framed in our kitchen back in college :This looks AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-mazing! Can't wait to take O! (And get the soundtrack- Supposed to be equally awesome! I'll letcha know!)

If Pee-Wee Can Do It...

If Pee-Wee Herman can marry a fruit salad because he loves it so much, then you should be on the look-out for your invites to the Yarbrough-Podge wedding, planned for, I don't know... this weekend?...

I love Modge Podge. So much.

I constantly look at things and think , "Hhmmmm, how much cuter would you be with some ink-rubbed, decorative-edged-cut scrapbook paper decoupaged on to you??"Its a problem.But look how fun! How cute!
(Thanks Steph for the pencil box idea!)How cheap!!!
(This soap dispenser was $1 from Joanns, with .59 cent paper
and ribbon I had left over! SUPER cheap!)

(Oh, and in case you want to get us something to commemorate this special day in our lives, Modgie and I are registered at Hobby Lobby, Michael's and JoAnns. )

Husband Pleasin'

EW! No! Get your mind out of the gutter. This is simply a post to share my famous in my own mind Chicken Nugget recipe- I've been promising Fan Target I'd give it to her, and I just so happened to make it for dinner last night. Its the only thing I've made in our almost 8 years of marriage that Jas begs me to make again and again. (Sad, I know.) Its not fancy, doesn't have mysterious ingredients, there are not utensils needed that you can only get at Sur La Table- They are short and sweet. And Damn Good.

(Now lets take a minute for Lysh and Heather to get their defibrillators out and revive themselves from the shock-induced heart-attack I just gave them from the mere idea of me writing about cooking....)

Okay, girls? Alright, lets proceed.

You Need:
3-4 chicken tenders per person (I used to use chicken breast cut up, but Jas prefers then to be more nugget-y, so the tenders work better)3 eggs
1 1/2 cups Flour
2 Cups Corn Flakes (crunched up)
1 Cup Bread Crumbs
Canola Oil
A fork
BBQ Sauce ( I personally prefer good ole' Kraft Original Barbecue Sauce, but that's just me...)

Prep-ville:
1. 2. Pour enough oil in the your skillet to cover 2/3 of the nugget if you laid it in there and turn it on between the 6 and 7 on the dial. (Very technical, I know.)
3. Get out three mixing bowls and a plate. Pour your flour in the first bowl, beat the three eggs in your second one and then mix the corn flakes and the bread crumbs in the third. Put your plate at the end. This is your Road-To-Chicken-y-Goodness- assembly line.4. Set out a cookie sheet next to your skillet.

"Leez Do it!" (say in your best Tone Loc voice)
1. Stab the top of your first piece of chicken towards the top with your fork. It needs to be able to wiggle around so you can properly coat it during this whole process. Now dredge (Holy moly! Look at that fancy cooking word!) each piece of chicken in the flour.2. Now dip it in the eggs, coat, coat, coat- this is your "coating glue"- make sure its everywhere!
3. Dip your nugget in the coating mixture. I rest it in there and shake the bowl a little to get it nice and covered. (Whoa! Where'd it go!?)No, worries! It was smothering itself in the corn-flake-bread-crumby-goodness...4. Put your ready-to-be-cooked nugget on the plate.
5. Rinse and repeat.
6. Once all your nuggets are coated, your oil should be nice and hot, so place as many nuggets as you can fit in the skillet. Check them and flip them when the bottoms have gotten crispy. Once both sides are cooked, move to the cookie sheet and continue until you have all your pieces nice and done.7. Put your cookie sheet in the oven for about 10 minutes.
NOTE: If you want to make frozen fries to go with this, you need to stick those guys in as soon as you turn on the oven. They take forever! This way you should come out all on time. If you make your own mashed potatoes, you should start to boil the potatoes when you start putting the pieces in the skillet, then mash once the nuggets are in the oven. That works out time-wise, too. We've tried lots of side combos: home-made fries, corn on the cob, mac and cheese...Morgan Jane is always suggesting new sides to try.Or you could have the sweetest husband ever, and he will drive through KFC for you and pick up a million different sides... and you don't have to worry about anything but looking like you slaved over these delicious guys!

"Bon Appetit! You may eat!"