Taxi Ride From Hell

...When we were discharged from the ER, I texted Jas to send for another cab and I headed outside to get some fresh air and to wait. One pulled up two mintes later and as I tried to get in, another couple came out and it turned out that one was for them. No sooner had I sat back down than a shady tan min-van with a "For Hire" light-up sign on the dashboard pulled up. An older man got out, and asked if I was Anne. I was a little taken aback seeing as how Jas said he was going to call the same company. I said yes, and just to check- I asked him if he took credit cards as we were getting in. Yes, yes- he told me. I laid my now sleeping baby down on the seat and told him that I needed him to take me to the Animal Kingdom lodge. He started driving and then starts to tell me that he needs $14 to get in the gate? Huh? He didn't speak English every well and we were clearly having a miscommunication problem. Finally, after much discussing, he understood that I wanted the resort, not the park.

I texted Jas right away:  "where did you find this guy? super shady."

He wrote back: "called the same number. what's wrong?"

I texted him back that this guy was in an unmarked mini-van, wasn't understanding me very well, that I wanted him outside the hotel when I got there... I asked the cab driver how long it would take us to get back to the hotel so I could call my husband and let him know. 15 minutes he said, so I called Jas to tell him, blaming my wanting him outside so he could help me with Morgan Jane, not because I thought anything was wrong. The driver got kind of snippy and kept saying, I'll get you there quickly. I'll take you right there. I assured him that I understood, that I just needed my husband's help. I knew in the pit of my stomach that something was off. His car was a mess, he was kind of a mess... there was half eaten melons sitting on the floorboard of the van...

Then I get a text from Jas about a minute later: "where are you? tell me everything about this guy. his car. everything."

That's when the fear set it.

"whats going on?!?!" I texted him back.

He called me and told me that my cab driver had just called from outside the ER, wanting to know where I was. Jas asked them what they were talking about- that I had aleady been picked up. He told me he didn't know who had picked me up, and that he wanted me to hang up and text him with every detail about this guy. That he was about to call the police. I felt like I was in that scene in "Taken" right before the daughter gets kidnapped. I started to FREAK OUT.

And it was at this exact moment that the cab driver starts telling me he was going to take me to the ATM so I could get money. I told him I didn't need to get money and he kept insisting that he would take me and I could get some. Please let me tell you, that I had one of those "This can't be happening to me!" moments. There is no way that I went on vacation, ended up taking my sweet baby to the ER, and got kidnapped and mugged by a crazed cab driver. No. way.

Jas kept texting me every 5 seconds. Turns out he was at breakfast with everyone when he got the call from the cab company and had been pacing outside- his phone set to the Orlando PD if I didn't show up in the next 5 minutes.  While we were flying down the highway he gave me his card (which was covered with random numbers and foreign writing on the back. Scary.) and I really realized that this guy did not work for Yellow Checker Cab, and that something went wrong somethere along the line. I just wanted to get to Jas as fast as possible...

I will say my driver got us back pretty quickly and I have never been so happy to see the gate at our resort. When we pulled up, I pretty much threw Morgan Jane out of the car at Jas and lept out. He guy smoozed Jas, giving him a song and dance about taking us wherever we wanted to go. It was so bizarre. We walked back downstairs to where everyone was having breakfast and I sat down and lost it. WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED??, was all I could think. Why did my baby get hurt, how did that driver know my name??? Was I really in danger?? It was too much for one day. Sometimes you just need a good cry. And a strong cup of coffee. All we can figure now that we look back is he must have tapped into the cab company's scanner and goes around scooping up other people's fares. Shady. Shady. Sha-dy!

Luckily, everyone had just planned on hanging out at the hotel until we needed to leave for the airport, and it ended up being one of the most relaxed and enjoyable days we spent together.

The kids and B on the hotel playground...

Luke and O dontaed to the Disney Animal Conservation fund and got to make Chirstmas ornaments out of dies Ostrich egg. They turned out really nice- who knew?

Right was the kids were finishing their crafts, we heard some fabulous drumming coming from the library. We walked over, mostly because I wanted to see if Morgan would rock out- she's stared dancing so cute lately. When we got there, there were several hotel staff members playing, and they invited my kids to join them. Soon the whole library was filled and everyone was having the best time! The instructors stopped and taught a little geography and science lesson.

Here's Bubs telling these men from South Africa and Uganda "where Texas is"!

They thought he was hilarious!

We headed out to catch the bus soon after this....

No vacation is complete without...

a trip to the ER. Seriously.

Sometimes I have to stop and thank God or my guardian angel, whoever it is that mysteriously guides our actions at times. I woke up on the last day of our trip kind of early, not knowing if we were going to try to hit up one more park since we had an 8pm flight. I got dressed in the clothes I had laid out the night before, ran a brush through my hair, put make-up on and when Luke woke up, I started to get him ready too... As I walked back into the area where the beds were to grab his clothes, I picked up Morgan's nite-nite blanket off the floor, and as I was going to set it up on the bed, she walked and reached for it all at the same time, tripped and WHAM!

She nailed her head on the corner of the wooden platform of the bed. Luckily, I was standing right there, and scooped her up and oh, sweet Jesus, I had a flashback to this! HUGE, HUGE, HUGE and growing by the minute, and the only thing we had to stick on her head was a can of cherry Coke in the mini-fridge that I randomly asked for when I had placed the second room service order when Luke decided he wanted something to eat arfterall. See... I ordered it and never drank it. Didn't want it once it arrived. And now it was the only thing keeping our babies head from swelling anymore that it already was.

In a panic I called down to the front desk asking if there was a doctor on staff. There wasn't. So she offered to call me a cab to take me to the nearest walk-on medical care center. I jumped in, headed there and as soon as I walked up to the front desk, the receptionist told me to call another cab to take me to the ER- that the doctors were going to send me there when they saw her. UGH. Now, at this point I am out of cash because the clinic was much farther away than I had anticipated- so I had Jas call me a cab that took credit cards, because I had NO idea how far away the hospital was. I was freaking out. This sweet cab driver told me he was going to take some back roads to get me there as quickly as possible- and he did. The ER staff was really nice, but poor Morgan was starting to fall asleep- which was a HUGE no-no after a head bump, so I had to keep her awake until her CAT scan. Not a fun or easy task- not to mention neither of us had had breakfast (or coffee in my case). Finally they did her scan and came back quickly with her results: Everything on the inside looked fine. Thank God in heaven. The outside, not so much. It was time to head home. And then something else scary happened...Bless her little heart...

Looking better...Or so we think...

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!

Needless to say, we aren't taking her in public anytime soon...

Call CPS...

or the Tooth Fairy Police, and turn me in.
Worst Mommy ever.

I have forgotten that Olivia lost her tooth and it is sitting patiently under her pillow, waiting for the Tooth Fairy to bring her a $1, the past
TWO NIGHTS!!!

Thank Goodness its in an airtight ziploc container because God forbid it spoil in my Unforgivable-I'm so ashamed- I-Almost-Ruined-One-Of-The Last- Little-Fun-Child-Fantasy-Things Olivia has left. The first night I blamed it on the storm, to which she replied with a puzzled look, "I thought she was magic...?"
I quickly told her: Helllll-oh! She still had to fly to get here.

Phew! Close one!

But then this morning. I walk by her on the way to make coffee, and she doesn't even look up and says, "She didn't come again." Crap. Crap. Crap.

Tonight. Without fail.

Maybe if I'd made something as adorable as this, it would be alot harder to forget!

"You Scared My Heart"

This is what I have always said to O when she was little and she would hide from me, or walk away from me in the store. For some reason it was a visual she could get: love= hearts, I love her, she scared my heart that loves her, ... it made since to us. Anyway...

I lost Olivia in the Target once when she was about 4 and I thought I was going to have a heart attack. I had stopped for 5 seconds to check out something stupid, I'm sure, at the end of the aisle and she took a detour down another. When I turned around and she wasn't standing right there, I started calling her name and looking all over. After not being able to find her right away, the whole place started swirling in slow-mo and I couldn't think straight. Thank God another nice Mommy recognized that "Holy Shit, Where Is My Kid?!?!?! Face", and we found her in the electronics section looking at Wiggles DVDs. (Damn, Wiggles.) After I found her, of course I hugged her and just kept saying, "You scared my heart. You sacred my heart!" I was so freaked out that I almost pushed an entire cart of groceries out the store without paying for them. Luckily Jas was there, took care of everything and drove us home. On the way I just started laughing hysterically. Like a crazy person. I couldn't stop. I was Looney-Tunes. And then I burst into tears and cried for the rest of the evening. So needless to say, I have been teaching Luke to stay here I can see him. But he is 2 and honestly, can't be trusted, as we learned yesterday.

I made persuaded Jas take Bubs with him to run a few quick errands. One of which was to the grocery. Now, I have trained the pants off Luke to behave and walk with me in the store. He knows not to go more than about 15 feet away from me, and he knows without a doubt! that he has to hold on to the cart as I push it through the parking lot back to the car. He has never tried to break free. There is something to be said for The Fear Of God. It works. For me at least.

But, when they got home, Luke walked through the doors and said, "I've vewy naw-dy boy." Jas came in all red in the face. What did he do?, I asked. Jas just looked blankly at me and said he ran from him in the parking lot. At 5 pm. The busiest, most hectic time there is. I think he was freaked out. Seriously. Here's the weird part: Jas said he was walking out of the store and both of his hands were full of the grocery bags. He was holding Luke's wrist and right as they stepped off the sidewalk, Luke broke free and started to run straight into the cross traffic. Jas said a car was coming right for him and all of a sudden this guy who was walking the other direction runs out, grabs Luke and gets back to the sidewalk before Jas can react. And guess who this hero was??? The older brother of one of Jas' best friends growing up. Small world. Thank goodness.

So needless to say, we were both a little shaky for the rest of the evening, it was the first time Jas had a "Scare my heart" moment, bless his heart. I think that is one of those building blocks of parenthood, though. It always seems like it takes one big scary thing to happen to teach you to do so many little things differently. I still feel really bad for him though. I know that knotted "What if?" feeling that stays inside of you for a long time. (I also feel a little bit bad for me too, because now I know he won't take Luke with him anywhere ever again. Boooo.)

Smack Down

Remember yesterday? When I was being all productive and excited for what the future could hold? When I was feeling like a Nike spokeswoman?

Well. Today I felt like I was a featured guest on this show:

And I am the blond guy in this picture: See that guy kicking my hopes and dreams out of me? Yea. It was pretty much just like that.

As of last evening the following things happened:
I was late to take the nursing school entrance test thanks to traffic on 635. This actually ended up not being such a bad thing because a) I'm not sure it was going to be the best place for me and b) I now KNOW that it is not the best place for me. I freaked out a little after last night. So I did some more research today and realized that to do what I really want to do, I have to go the RN route. No quick-y nursing trade school for me.

So now I am no longer looking at a 13 month time frame, but one more like 3 years. I went from looking at putting my kiddos in full day daycare at $480 A WEEK for one year, to now 3 (I'll give you a minute to do that math and choke on whatever it is your sipping on, like I did). I now have to wait to even APPLY til January of next year, only to wait to START in August of next year. I am looking at Monday through Friday, 8 am to 4pm, instead of Monday through Thursday, 9am to 3pm. I am looking at completing my degree when Morgan is older than Luke is now- which hurts my brain. I am looking at a dead-end dream because there is simply no way to make all of these new requirements work. There is not enough hours in the day or money in the bank. I have looked at it from every angle: A different school maybe?: I've called every school in a 50 mile radius and its the same story. Move back to our Shonka house to save money and be near friends and family? That puts us in limbo again, which is precisely what we are trying to get out of. Get a nanny in the morning to take the kids to school at 9? Yea right. Online courses? I am a hands-on learner. I have prayed. I have cried. I have put a request for any plan or idea out into the universe and hope that something will come back. I am feeling beat up. I am feeling like all this is my fault for not knowing what I wanted to do until I was 30, and life has just taken me to a place where that really just isn't feasible. It just doesn't make sense, seeing has how all of those things that have happened to me are the reasons I want to do this in the first place...

It just sucks because I was excited.

And now I've had an official WWE Smackdown.

Reason # 876,249 that...

...I can't stand Barack Obama:

He makes fun of handicapped people now-"That part of the population"- he refered to them as in an "apology" he made for this flippant comment last night on Jay Leno. Jas and I actually caught this last night and I promptly made him turn it off.

Really Mr. President? On national television? And you think that by all of a sudden deciding that you want to invite some Special Olypians to come visit the White House, you are making everything okay. Why would they want to come see you? What are you going to say next?: " I have lots of handicapped friends."

Seriously. You are a real class act.

S to the T...

r-e-ss-ed!

That's me.

I feel like there are a million and one things going on around here, and I am doing my best not to let it get to me. But there has been so many events to keep up with, sick kids to be patient with, decisions to make, fighting over stupid things, crying over more stupid things, potty-training nightmares, a few fun times, many more blah times- you name it! As Kimba from A Soft Place To Land so perfectly put it: Witchy Wifey and Monster Mommy have been hanging out at our house these past couple of weeks... I hate when those two show up and cling to the door frame when I try to shove them out of the house. I feel like they just stick around and breathe down my neck and make me feel miserable about all that I have to do...

Tomorrow starts my teeth transformation- I went in wanting some pretty shiny veneers- and I came out needed 2 root canal re-dos and a million and one other things to be fixed by some specialist before my dentist will even speak to me. Fun, fun...Good times. I have a job interview on Tuesday morning, which I hope goes well and I'm not drooling all over the place from the previous day's dental adventure. I have to meet with my college advisor to see if any of the classes I took at UT will transfer so I can get into the nursing program sometime in the next 15 years. I have two 4-hour training sessions to finish writing, power-pointing and notebook-making in the next 2 weeks. We are house-hunting and driving all over north Texas trying to find the neighborhood we will live in from now until our precious children leave the nest. No stress there. What it all boils down to is we just want to get settled, and actually start our lives on a better track- one with more fun and less stress. Something along these lines:

Does such a life exist?

I know, I know... I just need to Get. Over. It. before my children quit hugging me and my husband quits speaking to me. I'm in a funk people. I feel like I need a big hug and a good shove to get this show on the road. (sigh)

This Is Awful

My heart is breaking. As I sit and write this with tears streaming down my face, I can hear my 6 year old in her room sobbing. Why? Because I yelled at her. Because I had to. And nothing breaks my heart more than getting on to her, because its so very foreign to me, it makes me feel awful and not right and ugly.

She was Hero Of The Week at school today. Had a great big assembly and we all came- it was great. I was so proud to see her up on the state. Jas took her out bowling when he got home for a treat. And then she came home and it starts: the griping, picking fights with Luke, yelling at the dog, doing a half-ass job of something I've asked her to do, complaining that she thought Luke's pizza was bigger than hers, pitching a fit over taking a bath on a weekend night, on and on and on... And by the end of tonight I was done. I walked by her room and saw that the place was a wreck- but the biggest thing (and you may think I am insane for being a stickler about this) was three of her dresser drawers were wide open. I CANNOT stand this- it think it looks lazy and irresponsible and it just so happens to the the one thing she lost her Pet Shops for this week, that she JUST got back this afternoon. So, lesson learned? No. I'm pissed. So I find her in the kitchen, playing on the computer and I tell her to get off right now. Does she? No. "Hold on, I want to finish...." and that was it for me. I lost it. I said alot of things that needed to be said, as hard as it was to say them. I sent her to her room, sat down and started crying.

We have been having some seriously rough patches lately, and I feel like everytime something happens I just sort of stand there, stunned. Because that is not my Olivia. Almost every day she picks a fight with me about something small and honestly-insignificant, and it infuriates me to no end. Partly, because I don't have the energy to argue with her (ever feel like that?) and secondly because she is sounding more and more like a spoiled brat. (I just cringed seeing that written out loud.) and less like the sweet, kind girl we have raised for the past almost 7 years.

We made a behavior contract with her when things started going wrong about a month ago, and she was really doing well- but now that things are slipping again, I have had to enforce the discipline part of that agreement: loosing bedtime stories and Littlest Pet Shops (her two favorite and special things) when infractions arise. And it kills me. I hate to get on to her. I hate to look in her big blue eyes and see tears brimming over because of what I said and had to do. And I think, 'Was I too mean? Was that too harsh?' And I start to beat myself up. And then I stop and realize: This is part of the job description. (I just think with her it was in very tiny print). It is my job to raise her be a good, honest and upright citizen of this world. Sometime, I feel like more than anything, she has been learning the hard but true "Rubberband Lesson" of when you push someone too far, they can come snapping back at you. Which hurts.

So please, send some prayers our way: Some for me and Jas that we have strength to do the hard, but right thing, and wisdom to know when to pick our battles. Pray for Miss O that she can stay true to herself, I fear its being widdled away by the outside world and growing up too fast.

Quarantined Christmas

We here at the Yarbrough 5 believe in giving and sharing.

Only problem is that we seemed to have missed the mark this year because the only thing we have been giving and sharing with each other is the DAMN stomach flu.

There is nothing more miserable.

Nothing more awful. Nothing that makes me want to buy stock in Clorox more because Lord knows I've used 2 bottles of Clorox Clean-Up, one whole bottle of Clorox Anywhere Hard Surface (which I LOVE!!)- I even wiped down the leather sofas with Clorox Cleaning Wipes (we''ll see if that ruins them... But I am desperate!!!)

I have bought everyone new toothbrushes, their own bottles of hand sanitizer. I have washed everyone's sheets in HOT-twice. I have assigned everyone their own towel to dry their hands on after using copious amounts of anti-bacterial soap. I have sprayed, wiped down, and cleaned every door handle, every faucet, every light fixture, every remote, EVERY SURFACE of this house. But still it spreads. I'm sure I'll be crying by the end of the day.

So Merry Christmas to us.

We will be here.

At home.

Together, yet alone.

Not giving and sharing with our family and friends.

You're welcome.

(WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!)

Warning To All Mommies...

See this:

This is what happens to Mommies who turn their backs for 2 seconds to search a rack for earmuffs that their oldest child requested that morning while letting their two year old who loves to zip zippers stand in the back of the shopping cart and reach a liiiiitle too far to zip a zipper on a red velor hoodie that was calling his name.

This is what happens when you turn your back for 2 seconds and the precious head that you so lovingly grew in your belly for 9 months meets the metal rack on the floor of the Wal-mart and all you can think to do is get ice ICE!!! and you run to the frozen food section and grab a bag of peas to put on that precious head while you are quickly loosing all sense of time and direction and you have to call your best friend to tell you where to go after you have abandoned your cart of groceries (but remembered to grab the baby) and are are hauling ass down the street going nowhere while your child is alternating screaming and passing out while you are crying in panic.

This is what happens when you turn your back for 2 seconds and end up spending the morning in the ER, having to tell the story of how you let your child stand in the back of the cart unsupervised for 2 seconds! so they fell and ended up with a baseball sized contusion to everyone that comes in to check him out while they are trying not to make the "Holy, shit!" face, even the sweet CAT scan guy that then makes you hold down your already upset child while they stick him in the very big and scary machine to ensure that his brain is not bleeding and you then wait for an hour to get the results freaking out every time he moves or turns on the gurney for fear of him falling again.

Oh, Mommies, have I learned my lesson. How I feel like 2 cents for every time I have said to myself, "Geez, that lady needs to watch her kid!" as they are leaning over or sitting on the edge of a shopping cart. Today, I was that lady. Let this be a lesson to us all- it takes 2 seconds for something horrific and scary to happen. I have learned mine and am hoping my heart will start beating normally again sometime soon.

P.S. Thanks Lysh. I would still be driving down Preston if it weren't for you.

Bad Santa

Dear Stonebriar Center Santa,

May I have a word with you? Yesterday I dolled my sweet children up in there red and white best, loaded them all into the car and braved the 20 degree windchill weather with promises of seeing you: The Great Santa Claus.

Humph! Or should I say, "Ba Humbug!"???? When we approached your beautiful carousel-like set-up, I saw Miss O's eyes get wide with excitement. I whispered to Luke- who had NEVER met you before- "Look, Bubies, do you see him?!" and I saw Jason's happiness that there was NO LINE! We had you all to ourselves! But then the playfull fun of it all went out the frost covered window. I found it a little off-putting that the first thing your "elf" asked us was what size photo package we would like to order. Nothing says The Joy Of Seeing Santa, like forced consumerism! And when I asked your elf if we could just see you and take one of our own photos since they are so expensive, she replied with a festive, "Yea, but ONLY 2." When she turned to you and told you we were "just visiting", I did not know this was Santa Code for "They are not paying us, so don't act like you care about them." My children came up to you bouncing with joy and you didn't even speak to them above a whisper! You didn't ask them if they had been good boys and girls! You never once inquired what they wanted for Christmas! Because the experience was quickly becoming a merry ole beating, I asked them to just sit with you so I could take your picture and we could leave. I guess because I wasn't paying $46.97 for a 5X7 photo, you were unable to see me and therefore didn't know where to look, because the photo I took has you looking off in the distance. I was so frazzled by the whole experience that I forgot to even put our newest addition in the photo too. But, then again, what would have been the point? I would have hated for your grumpiness to leave an imprint on my precious baby's first Christmas. I will have you know that because of the way you acted, I was bound and determined that my children would see a HAPPY SANTA, and I told my husband that we were going somewhere else. This of course led to the hissed discussion behind their little backs, of how are we going to explain Santa being at two different places at the same time. You are SOOOO lucky that Olivia is still 6 and believes in Santa with all her might, because the one word answer: Magic, was enough for her. I simply explained to her that having all that magic can sometimes wear a Santa out, and I guess that was just the case with you.

I am ho-ho-happy to report, that my husband knew not to fight the "Seeing-Two-Santas-Within-30 Minutes-Of-Each-Other-Is-Insane Battle", so we joyfully loaded our sweet children back up in the car and hauled holiday ass through the blistering cold to the beautiful glowing beacon in the night called The Shops At Willow Bend so we could get there before their Santa left for his snack of milk and cookies.

There we found the REAL Santa. The one who winks at you when he sees you waiting in line! ("Mom! Mom! He saw me! He winked at ME!" 'Makes me teary just remembering it.) The one who KNOWS YOUR NAME by the time you sit in his lap! The one who smiles and give you kisses on the cheek! The one who knows all about Pet Shops, and knew that a Thomas was Thomas the Train! The one who compliments you in front of thier parents, and comments on what a great kid you have been all year- because HE'S been watching! The one that wears a REAL frickin'-frackin' Santa suit! With jingle bells on the boots! And "Claus" embroidered on the belt! I gladly paid this guy $20 for a picture with him and my children because he made their day. I am enclosing this photo so you can take a moment to notice the crazy happy smile on Olivia's face and how sweetly he is holding Morgan's little chubby hand. You might want to take a lesson from his guy, he's the real deal and we will being seeing him every year from now on.

Sincerely,

The Yarbrough 5

Our Last Night Here...

Well. The day has finally come, and I am unbelievably sad believe it or not. So much has happened over these past 5 months and with every kind of emotion there is tied into it. Bottom line: Our leaving means that Gary is no longer here.

We came here to be with him and Martha during his last few months. Little did we know, we would only have 5 weeks with him once we arrived. And with all of the hard times we've had this past month, nothing will ever make me think that moving here wasn't the right thing to do. I know in my heart that he left us when he did because he knew we were here to take care of Martha, and he wouldn't go until he knew she was okay. From the day we arrived he got worse and worse- literally every day being harder and more awful than the one before. I cannot express what it was like to see that- to not know what kind of state he would be in the next day as we left their house each night. I know that everyday we were here though, especially with the kids around, we brought a little bit of joy to his nightmare of a life. I will always remember how he would wave at us and do a little clap when we walked in the door. How Luke would sit on the ottoman at his feet and just play for hours- just be close to him, and how he would just watch Luke. How he always gave us the Thumbs Up sign when we were having a conversation around him-whether or not he really knew what we were talking about is another thing- but he loved the social-ness of it, having people around him. Every time we left we would all hug and kiss him while he sat on his spot on the couch, and I alway told him how much I loved him: On the night he passed away he held my hand a second or two longer than usual and it made me stop and look in his eyes, and I think that was my good-bye from him. Everyone had their special moment with him that night, and little did we know what he was really saying to us. He had been through hell and was ready to go. And now its our turn to go. We have been through our own version of ALS hell, and it has changed us as a family. It has changed my relationship with Jason and with my kids. It has made us all realize that there is really nothing more important than family, that life is too short and illnesses are blind. Of all of the people in the world, I will never understand why Gary, but I will try my best to honor him by living the best life I can and continuing to take care of the many other people God has brought into my life for a reason. While my children may not remember him, they have been touched my his gentle, loving spirit, and I believe that even though he wasn't here when Morgan was born, she knows him. I see her laying in her crib or on our bed, smiling and coo-ing at the ceiling- I know he is over her saying, "Hey there, girl!" just like he always did to his "Miss O". She smiles like he does- with her whole face just lighting up.

So, yes, while we've had our ups and downs here, and we have made the decision to move on, this has been one of the most defining times in my life. God opened so many doors for us to get here as easily and quickly as we did, and now we will have to see what he has in store for us with his next chapter of our lives, having learned and experienced all that we have while we were here...

Prayers Please

Martha (my mother in law) is in the hospital and needing to have her gallbladder out (Just like Jas did back in February), but she is in such bad shape they are waiting until they feel like she can handle the stress of the surgery. Please say a little prayer for her that she gets better and the surgery goes well. As far as moving goes, I will still be leaving this upcoming Wednesday...I don't know if Jas will stay or come with us. In that case, applications for candidates who would like to fly in and drive the 1,100 miles with me and my precious kiddos (see above) will be taken on a first come, first serve basis. HA!

Seriously though: Prayers Please. For all of us.

seriously.

life is sucking. hard.

Misery

Poor, poor, poor Miss O! We just got back from the dentist where she had to have a tooth pulled. She is in la-la-land, but I still feel so bad for her. She was such a little soldier, and went back there without me. It took over an hour! and I started to freak out...but everything is fine. Poor kid couldn't eat all day because of the anesthesia and is now sitting on the couch enjoying a big bowl of ice cream, so I guess thats good...

Morgan celebrated her 3 weeks on the planet by sleeping for us! She slept from, brace yourself: 11:30pm to 4:20am! Seriously!!! And of course I couldn't enjoy it because I woke up every two hours and raced to the side of the crib to make sure she was still breathing! Maybe she'll do it again tonight and I will try to make the most of it!! Sure do like catching an encore of the great primetime Olympics at 2:00am though... Random: We love that there is an Olympic mastcot named "NiNi" (even if its not the cutest one!)

"Alrighty"

I thought I should try to post this before Gary's memorial, because I'm not sure what state I will be in by the time this day is all over. For those of you who haven't heard, Gary lost is short, but courageous, battle with ALS early Friday morning. We have been by Martha's side ever since, and Jon, Jen and Bryant came in to stay with her late Friday night. We have all taken a little comfort in the fact that we were all able to see and spend time with him last Thursday- I came and visited for awhile when I dropped the kids off to stay with them for the afternoon. Jason came later that evening to pick them up and stayed and had dinner. I know that he spent his last day doing what he love: being around his family. We all noticed, looking back, that he had gotten up and hugged and kissed everyone of us before we left- usually something we did to him since he had a hard time moving around. He also woke Martha up in the middle of the night and told her, as best he could, that he loved her. I know in my heart he had tried his best to hang in there, but he was just ready to go.

He was one of the sweetest, kindest, most vibrant person I have ever met. He welcomed me into the Yarbrough family with open arms, when he could have been upset and judgemental- but those are two things I have never seen him be. He always called me "Miss Anne" and there are so many little moments that he and I shated that I will cherish forever. He was an incredible grandfather to Olivia, his "tooter girl", and I am completely heartbroken that Luke and Bryant won't have the chance to know him. If I can raise Luke to have even half of the honorable qualities that Gary possessed, I will know I have raised a good man.

We would love everyone's prayers and thoughts, especially out to Martha, and any other family out there that has had to deal with this nightmare of a disease.

War Path

Guess who's doctor no longer accepts the insurance she's spent ALL month signing up and jumping through hoops for???? Guess who basically got kicked out of the doctor's office today??? (I'm surpried they didn't hand me my pee sample on the way out the door!) Guess who's hormones are so THROUGH THE ROOF, that they almost had a complete and total melt-down at the front desk when the secertary treated them like a second-rate citizen all of a sudden??? Guess who now has to not only find a new doctor, but a new hospital and a new day to have the poor kid at 33 weeks along??? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!? TOTAL. COMPLETE. NIGHTMARE. Then I have to deal with some complete JACK-ASS customer service rep for the insurance who has the BALLS to say to me "Well, obviously, you have no idea what you're doing!" Don't think I let that slide after the morning I had had. I ripped his head, and the head of his supervisor- off. O-F-F. And then to top it off, I have someone renting my home who I feel we have catered too as much as we can, who has the nerve to request that that the windows be cleaned by the company that is coming to RE-CLEAN the f***in' house at an additional $70 some-odd dollars?????? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?! I've had it. I'm done being nice. DONE.

The Latest...

We have spent the past two days at the Yarbroughs swimming- it has been toasty-oasty out here, and the water has finally really warmed up! SO FUN! You would all TOTALLY die if you saw the fearless Mr. Bubs and his floaties in action. He gets irate if you try and hold on to him! It took him a total of 5 minutes to figure out how to a)hold his head way up above the water to keep from getting water in his mouth, b) how to flip around from a sitting position to a floating one and c) how to kick to make himself go where he wants to go! ITS UNBELIEVABLE! Now if only he could share some of that go-getter spirit with O... She's trying to get reacquainted with the water, shall we say...

Good News: Gary has been set up with 2 hospice nurses through a great agency out here. Jason met the women who runs it and was very impressed, so I am relieved! They will be coming to help Martha with everyday things and meds, and also coming to stay with him while she gets out of the house- That's the only part I'm nervous about. He had an episode last week where he kept handing Martha the phone and telling her to "Call Anne"- he couldn't remember who she was and got scared and wanted someone he knew. But, oh! It will be so great for her spirit, though, to get out and about again! It was truly priceless today: The kids put on a dance show for Gary, with props and everything and he LOVED it! We has actually cracking up!! Wish I has taken pics!

I'm off to the docs tomorrow. I passed my glucose screening test, and things are going fine on my end. Just getting bigger, and BIGger, and BIGGER! Olivia has busted out the baby dolls- which she hasn't played with in a long time- I think the baby mood in the house is building! We asked Luke to kiss the baby doll and he did that thing where to touched his forehead to the doll's face. Then we said, "No, with your mouth, Silly!" and he licked her. Nice.

It's okay, I finally stopped crying around 6 pm...

So...Jas was home this morning before work, Olivia had Ashton over and Bubs was (shocker) watching B.T.B., and I decided to go get my haircut. There are SO many cute mommies out here with adorable hair and I was tired of schlepping around town with my hair in a poof on top of my head (a.k.a. no style whatsoever). I went into a nice salon up the road and had a big talk with the guy about what I wanted, what lengh, how I have a TON of hair, blah, blah, blah. I was thinking sort of like Ni's when she first got it cut- a slanty bob basically. Yea...not so much. It was really great looking until he started layering it, which in my hair's case means making it into a mushroom! All of the chic slanty-ness of it went out the window and Dorothy Hamill flew back in. DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!!!! Why can't I EVER get the haircut I want???? Why do I ALWAYS spend 3 months waiting for it to get to where I can stand it??? I seriously had a meltdown- especially when Jas said the dreaded sentence, "I just have to get used to it." Which is code for "What the hell have you done???" Great. I am hoping that it will have fallen, straightened, something by the time I have to see any of yall again. Nice. And don't ask for pictures, because you won't get them.